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Sunday, October 1, 2023

 

We Can Do Better

 By Kim Harris, M.Ed.

Distinctive Voice Consulting

www.DistinctiveVoiceConsulting.com 

 

Being the target of a racist statement hurts. I remember in college, reeling from the accusation by a white student, that I got into U.C. Berkeley as a minority student, not because of my mental acumen. Fast forward to today, some 40 years later, and I suffer again as I listen to my adult child tell me a story about them being the target of a racist statement. In 2023, I would imagine that people have grown to understand that we, as people from different racial ancestries, are not each other’s enemy. Yet, there are still forces in our culture that divide people, pitting us against one another. When our society is fueled by anger and division stemming from some of our nation’s political leaders, one needs to critically think about who, or what, is being gained by the division. Because of this division I have a job but I would love to see the day when my skills of equity, diversity and inclusivity training are unnecessary.

 

Recently, one of my adult children told me the story of being at work and monitoring their place of employment for safety. My adult child was partnered with a co-worker and the two of them were entering a building and a person held the door for them to let them in the building. My child and his co-worker told the person that for safety purposes, they should not let anyone into the building, but rather make everyone use their key card. This person, from the dominant culture, mumbled to my child of color and his co-worker of color that “he didn’t like Black people.” I was crushed when my adult child told me this story. I experience this bigotry, in my training I hear the bigotry experienced by others, and now this bigotry has come full circle and is experienced by one of my own despite the work that I do to eradicate it. I work diligently through my training, to create a world where no one should be subject to bigotry. I asked my child what they did and my child shared that the incident was reported to leadership.

 

This pattern of behavior can be found in the “Common Patterns of Whites” by Dr. Kathy Obear, a leading expert in conflict and change management to create inclusive environments, here. I would like to draw your attention to pattern #11, whites “resent taking direction from a person of color.”  My heart not only goes out to my child and their work colleague, but, I also feel sadness for the person that professed their hatred for Blackness. Where did he learn this? Did he feel empowered after saying these words? Did he believe he took back his power with his words of hatred?

 

It is important for us as a society to have conversations about race, class, and gender to unearth the source of negative feelings and release them for good. But many people are uncomfortable talking about these issues for fear of being shamed and ostracized. There are also some Americans who are comfortable with the current American standards that reflect those of European ancestry, that works for them. We live in two Americas and when these groups come together and conflict arises, we create borders and divisions to reinforce our separateness. This is why at Distinctive Voice Consulting I create training using adult teaching models to create learning in a shame free, educational environment to help bridge divides and create inclusivity. It is my vision that these two Americas become one in the spirit of what the country’s founding fathers imagined.

 

To learn more about the Distinctive Voice Consulting Mission and training philosophy, visit: here or email any questions to: DistinctiveVoiceConsulting@gmail.com

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